“Do you want Baby to come for stories?” I asked
“Yes,” he said. “And prayers.”
I set her on his bed.
Helped him choose books.
Lifted him up, over the toddler bed rails.
And climbed in behind him.
He moved closer to her, settling down at the foot of the bed.
They were reclining on the pillows I placed there to keep him from falling out of the bed.
Before she was born, when he was my only child, my heart always felt like a piece was missing, unless we were together.
And now, even if I’m holding him close, I feel like I’m missing some vital part of me unless she’s there.
And vice versa.
Not less, not divided. Just complete with both.
“Can I hold her hand?” he asked.
“Yes, of course,” I answered, helping him slip his fingers into hers.
Watched her hand close around his fingers.
I took each of their free hands in mine.
A circle.
One so small, so vulnerable.
One twice her size, yet seemingly larger than life.
And me.
Today was a hard day. A day of co-oping at preschool. Sleep deprivation from taking care of a new baby and physical exhaustion from a long weekend away. The postpartum hormone cocktail. Tantrums because I had the wrong music on my phone and the water temperature from the faucet wasn’t right and other injustices I can’t remember.
In the midst of the drama, I had spoken words I wish I could take back, used a tone I regret.
Now, their father was working late. It is a busy time of year.
I was doing the bedtime routine on my own.
And I was weary.
My resources depleted.
“Mama, is she smiling at me?”
“Yes, honey, she is.”
He smiled back, their eyes met.
“Mama, her eyes are smiling at me too!”
I felt their hands in mine, so soft and trusting. Each holding on in its own way.
I leaned over, kissing each of my children on the cheek.
As I looked at our hands, our circle, I felt the raw edges heal, the wave of frustration recede.
I stopped and breathed, grateful for this time, for this gift.
For them.
After a few minutes, I reminded him it was time to read.
He reached for Eric Carle’s Brown Bear and started to read to her, his voice staccato as he recited the words from memory.
Sharing one of his favorites with his sister, while she listened intently.
“Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see?”
In that moment, I saw love and innocence and family.
The beauty of siblings.
The resiliency of childhood.
And a purity I was humbled to be part of.
Beautiful! We are expecting our second child in early August and I look forward to treasured moments like this!
Amanda recently posted..Never Doubt…
Good luck! You’ll find them in the least expected places. At least I do.
The moments when my two are together (um, peacefully) are some of the most treasured moments of my life. This is such a beautiful representation of how much can be right in the world on a day gone stressfully wrong. Beautiful.
Ashley recently posted..Hard Lessons: Learning how to not to disappoint me
Thank you, Ashley. I needed that moment after the day we had.
So sweet! Watching my kids in moments like this completely melts me. Somehow it has the power to wash away all of the frustrations from that day.
Kimberly recently posted..My Journey Home
It really does, right? And just think, you’ll have another one to share the moments so soon!
There really is nothing in this world like the love between siblings. And I so get that feeling of not being complete without both of your children near you. When Im with one and not the other, while Im enjoying my time alone, Im also wishing I had them both together. Beautiful writing!
Jessica recently posted..Ill Be Your Comfort
Thanks–glad you could identify!
Beautiful. As I’ve said before, reading your posts about your children give me a glimpse into my near future. Thank you, Natalie. You have no idea how much this helps me.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Outside Looking In
I’m glad you like it, Alison. That means a lot to me.
This is such a sweet post. I have two sons – 2 1/2 and 5 years old – and the love that lies between them makes my heart swell. Seeing them share a hug or snuggle together makes even the bad days betters, most of the time
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Lessons from Ski School
I’m always amazed at their capacity for love. It’s so easy.
This is so beautiful, Natalie! And so, so true. Watching my daughters relationship blossomed into something more beautiful each day is what makes everything make sense for me. Thank you for sharing this.
Jessica recently posted..Fit With Baby| Interview with Valerie Merriweather (Part 1)
You are able to share your emotions in such a vivid and raw way. I always have to read your posts when I’m alone so my hubby won’t ask me why I’m crying.
I’m glad your terrible, no good day ended with such love. That’s the amazing thing about kids: no matter how upset we get with them or what tone we use, they always forget, they always love.
Life As Wife recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out
Thank you so much. It was a terrible horrible no good day. And that moment was just what I needed.
Having a tender loving moment like that makes any bad day flush away…
I hope that you’re also taking breaks for yourself. It is so important for us Mama’s to get some time to ourselves just to recharge
xoxo
Kimberly recently posted..The Kid Who Won’t Quit
You’re right, Kimberly. It’s hard to find time for us. And I’m trying to learn to build it in. I’m definitely feeling drained.
This was such a wonderful moment! He will have so much to share with her.
JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Odds Are JDaniel Will Have Another Lion Birthday
Thank you–I hope it continues like this!
Such a sweet post. You know… without this blog, chances are you might forget that sweet moment in 10 years. So great that you recorded it … and now you can relive it when they are older (and.. maybe not so many sweet moments
Kristen recently posted..It’s Not Cool to be Gay
Thank you. And you’re right. The fact I don’t want to forget it is what got me writing. Because, honestly, I didn’t feel like it!
This is just beautiful. It made my eyes all teary with the live coming from it. Just sigh
Renee recently posted..Evicted
Thank you, Renee. It’s always wonderful to find beauty in the trenches, you know?
What a sweet moment!
There are days when I feel like all I do is speak to my kids in a whine because they are whining at me, too. And I feel rushed and stressed.
Being able to have those quiet, sweet moments is such a blessing. And makes me resolve to do better the next day(even though I usually don’t).
Shell recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: The Positive over the Negative
Thanks, Shell. Sometimes it’s hard to find the patience, isn’t it? But I’m trying.
I have those same moments … the ones where I lose my patience and temper and then regret my tone or things I say. I’d like to think it’s part of Motherhood. We’re not perfect. We can’t be Mrs. Brady all time, can we?
So sweet that your little man wanted to read Brown Bear to his little sis. Those sweet moments make having all the stressful ones worth it, don’t they?
Bruna recently posted..Fashion File # 3 : The Zoey Deschanel Edition
It really was exactly what I needed. Because otherwise the day would have been a downer. But it made me so happy.
Thank you!
This is incredibly sweet, and I can just imagine how it melts all the hard stuff away. So glad you were able to find that moment.
Robin | Farewell, Stranger recently posted..Blissdom Travel in Pictures
Thanks, Robin. I needed that moment, you know?
Oh my gosh, so beautiful. So, so beautiful. Seeing the love between my children is one of the most amazing parts of motherhood. I’m so glad you are experiencing it too.
Jessica recently posted..Faces
Thank you, Jessica. It really was a wonderful moment. And I totally thought of that post you did back in November, the one reassuring us. It’s awesome to watch them love each other.
“The resiliency of childhood” – something about that really struck me. This will definitely stay with me.
Mrs. Jen B recently posted..Using My Gunpowder Effectively
Thank you, Jen. I’m glad you liked it. Now if only I could find some of that resiliency….
We are human and sometimes our frustrations cause us to use words and tones with the kids that wish we could take back. Maybe the hard moments make us appreciate the sweet moments even more?
Jessica recently posted..Hey Girl…The #Blissdom 2012 Experience
Yep, I think you’re right. It’s just a shame we have to have the hard moments at all, you know?
This is beautiful! Today was a day I wish I could have controlled myself better. But, in the big picture that momzilla moment was only about 15-20 minutes of the whole day. It’s the recovery we make that counts! Geesh! I hope it is anyway.
Thanks for sharing this tender moment with your babies. So sweet!
Adrienne recently posted..Sealed
I hope you are right–I hate those Momzilla moments! What a perfect term for them.
A lovely moment, beautifully told.
It’s nice when the night ends with breaths, isn’t it?
Hang in there, sister. And know that you’re not alone.
Galit Breen recently posted..Easy
Thank you, Galit. I’m glad you liked it!
Oh how very precious. Those moments make it all worthwhile.
Mel recently posted..Flying by the Seat of Our Pants
Thanks, Mel. They do, don’t they?
Right now my youngest two (10 and 5) are watching a movie snuggled up on the couch eating popcorn. Love these moments.
Enjoy!
That sounds like a wonderful moment. I look forward to those!
I love seeing a sibling bond through your words. I wonder if my bonding with my sister started this easily and without the competition and angst that we would be famous for in the years to come?
It’s such a treat to see how the toddler folds his baby sister into his life and world. It brings tears to my eyes that they are already connected.
Kir recently posted..Proud Mommy Moments: Jenna from Made More Beautiful is Visiting Today
Thank you, Kir. It will be interesting to see how it develops, won’t it? So far, they are off to a good start.
Beautiful! I love your writing.. it’s so vivid – I can picture the scene easily.. What a beautiful moment!
mrs.d recently posted..Day One
Thank you–so glad you liked it!
Moments, when the good moments hold our hearts, captured in time … those are the times we strive for. And you know, I do believe that at the end of the day, they will be the one’s our children will remember. For the most part, its human nature to remember the good stuff … else we would eat our young and smother our husbands in their sleep
By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Blissdom, a recap and omgosh, its the weekend!
I hope you’re right. There was certainly beauty that day. And the beast….
This is beautiful. I often think about a second child and wonder how I could possibly love a second as much as I love my son now, but I read words like these and am reminded that (like the words of a favorite old camp song):
Love is something
If you give it away
You end up having more
Deborah the Closet Monster recently posted..FTIAT: My Blog Saved Our Family
That’s exactly right. I was really concerned, since I love my son so much. But it just grows, without any reason. It’s really a lovely thing.
Awww this is so sweet, my heart is melting. I can see you all in my mind and I know that wave, it washes everything away. Thank you for sharing this loving, sweet, innocent and special moment, a cuddle before bedtime, with us. And doesn’t Brown Bear make everyday better:)?
Shannon from mynewfavoriteday recently posted..‘My Blog Saved Me.’
Thank you so much. And yes, Brown Bear really can solve everything.
Seeing our children interact with one another is truly one of the greatest joys. And definitely healing after a tough day.
Just gorgeous.
Angie @ The Little Mumma recently posted..Beautiful Bias
Thank you so much. I’m glad you liked it.
This is beautiful! Thank you for linking it up!
Beth Zimmerman recently posted..Bloggers Anonymous
Thank you–glad you liked it!
Sweet moment. Makes me wish my boys were babies again. Visiting from the writecon edge hop.
Thank you! Glad you liked it.
Thats the beauty of children.
They forgive and they trust.
Leighann recently posted..Those Girls
I know. And sometimes I don’t feel like I deserve it.
So beautiful to have been invited into this intimate moment. You wrote with such vivid emotional description, and I could relate so well, and remember moments that are seared into my memory like this one. *HUG*
Thank you for linking up this beautiful post with Blog Bash, Natalie!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..He Lifts Me Up
The thing I love about reading parenting blogs is that they give me glimpses into that unseen everyday world that is motherhood all around us – and blogs like these just inject me with hope and happiness for the future – so much love in here, and of course you are weary, but you are such a good mama. (-:
Thanks for linking up with us.
Ado recently posted..Yes Virginia, Thin Mints DO Have Crack In Them
I miss those moments when my children were so young…when the now 10 yr old was 2 and in love with his new baby sister.
Robbie recently posted..StinkBug Wins House Hunters
I know I will too. Watching them grow is such a gift. And so hard.