Before my daughter was born, we didn’t know her gender.
She was a surprise.
“Just a baby,” her big brother told everyone who asked.
Honestly, I was expecting another boy. I had only ever had a son. In my mind, I was the mother of sons.
I was thrilled beyond measure to have her.
But I wasn’t expecting her.
When the doctor told me she was a girl, I didn’t believe him.
He had to say it twice.
And then, as I looked across the operating room, I saw her.
Chubby and full.
A mop of dark hair standing straight up.
She was startled, indignant at the interruption to the only existence she had known. And she let us know about it.
In that instant, an endless swell of love filled my heart.
Any child is a gift.
A daughter or a son—it doesn’t matter.
But, as lessons pass from father to son, there are things a mother wants to teach her daughter.
Lessons I wish I had learned earlier.
Lessons I wish I could internalize more.
To speak, as her heart hammers and her hands sweat and her throat closes. To speak louder when people don’t listen or talk over her.
To pursue her own interests, especially if they are different from those of the people around her.
To have the strength and courage to stand for herself and her convictions.
To walk—to run—from destructive situations.
To climb the mountains in her life. And to look forward to those challenges.
To celebrate her successes—and the lessons learned from her failures.
To laugh, as loudly as she likes.
To cry, when tears are warranted. And to stop when they aren’t.
To be proud of who she is, of what makes her unique.
To respect herself and all that she stands for.
To know she is beautiful, in the ways that matter. To reject the ways that don’t.
To understand her value comes from her character and choices, rather than her appearance or popularity.
To realize the world will only appreciate her as much as she appreciates herself.
I love you, little girl. You are wonderful and special and perfect.
Just as you are.
What lessons do you hope to share with your children?
Beautiful!!! So perfectly put. I wish to raise my children to be fully themselves – to just be who they are without worrying about who others expect them to be. So darn it, if my daughter is determined to be an entomology professor while the world expects her to play princess, I’m filling her world with bugs.
Bethesda Locavore recently posted..Green and Neurotic
Thank you. So glad you liked it. And yes, bring on the bugs!
I will whisper these things to her in about 10 days, and I am so honored to do so!
I hope I can let Abbey make mistakes with grace and aplomb, so she learns from them. My parents protected me for a long time, and I learned my lessons on some big mistakes; I wish I had gotten practice on smaller ones
We can’t wait! And I agree–better to stumble early in life. I hope I can let them both do that.
So lovely. This is a beautiful list of things to wish for your daughter, and I have no doubt she will learn all those things through you.
Robin | Farewell, Stranger recently posted..Valentines Revisited
Thank you, Robin. I hope so.
Beautiful letter to your daughter. There are so many things I want to pass on to our children and I do hope that they listen!
Kimberly recently posted..11 Questions
Thanks, Kimberly! I really hope I can share them with them.
Such a gorgeous post, Natalie. You’ll be a great Mama to your little girl.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Memories Captured Link Up – February
I hope so, Alison. I hope I can teach them both to be the adults I hope they will be.
I love this. This is what I want for my son too.
JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Muffin Tin Monday- Homemade Granola Heart
Thank you–so glad you liked it!
This is so beautiful. We wish so much for our children…
That’s right. I hope they both grow into the kind of adults I hope they will.
I think you should read this to her every year on her birthday : )
ML@My 3 Little Birds recently posted..The Wild Child
What a lovely idea. I think I will. Thanks for the suggestion!
I hope my girls know that they can be happy without a man.
Jessica recently posted..Where Does She Come Up With Stuff?
Yes. Exactly. That.
This….”To climb the mountains in her life. And to look forward to those challenges.”—I love. What a great list.
Elena recently posted..Getting Back on Track with Five Fitness Weapons
Thank you, Elena. I hope she learns it.
This is stunning, sweet friend. I love the lessons that you’re so consciously thinking of, and will surely teach, and teach well.
(They’re both very lucky to have you.)
Galit Breen recently posted..Memories Captured February Linky!
Thank you, Galit. I hope to. I truly do.
This is beautiful. I hope to teach my daughter these things (and a couple of them I still need to teach myself!)
Tracie recently posted..How (NOT) To Bowl
I know, right? Some of them I could really work on. I hope she’s a better woman than I am.
That was so beautiful , I know any daughter of yours will grow up to be an amazing woman because she has you as an example. Every word of this touched me…
Kir recently posted..Just in time for Valentine’s Day, I’m appSmitten (Giveaway)
That’s so sweet of you to say, Kir. I appreciate it.
Isn’t it fun not to know? I felt pretty sure I would have two boys, yet secretly thought maybe that second one was really a girl…and she was. I love having one of each…
Sherri recently posted..Where My Words Live
Thank you, Sherri. I actually wish we had known. It was fun, but we were so sure she was a boy that we were both surprised.
What a beautiful list of life lessons. I say frame it and hang it in her bedroom.
Amanda recently posted..Her Thoughts On: Valentine’s Day
[...] absolutely loved Mama Track’s post about life lessons for her daughter. Thoughtful, beautiful, and full of love…things all of our [...]